Dealing with Setbacks - My Story of Turning Challenges into Growth
· 6 min reading time | Ivan
We all face setbacks. They can feel overwhelming and unfair, but how we respond to them matters more than the challenges themselves. I want to share my personal story—a journey full of highs and lows—and the lessons I’ve learned about getting through tough times.
How It All Started
When I was seven, my parents gave me my first computer. It wasn’t fancy, but it sparked my curiosity and opened a new world for me. By nine, I was hooked. I found coding tutorials on YouTube and started teaching myself to program. I loved experimenting, building simple things like Pac-Man and Tetris clones. By high school, I was ahead of most kids my age when it came to tech.
Having a mentor helped a lot. He was four years older and obsessed with web development. I looked up to him and wanted to learn everything he knew. Eventually, I caught up to him, and by the time I graduated high school (two years early!), I felt unstoppable.
A Harsh Reality Check
At 18, I had already undergone 15 surgeries due to my disability. Despite these challenges, I earned a dream opportunity: an internship at Google. I felt like I had made it. But once I got there, reality hit hard. I was surrounded by incredibly smart, experienced people. Suddenly, I didn’t feel like the talented kid who always succeeded. Of the 300,000 lines of code I wrote, less than 2,000 were good enough to use in production. Every code review was filled with criticism, and I felt like an impostor.
Over time, I started reframing feedback as a chance to improve rather than a judgment of my abilities. I reminded myself that everyone starts somewhere and that my presence in such a competitive environment meant I had potential. By focusing on learning and growth instead of perfection, I gradually rebuilt my confidence. That experience humbled me. I realized I had so much left to learn, and that was okay. It was my first real lesson in resilience.
When Life Got Tough
Even after the internship, things didn’t go as planned. I had medical issues that required two more significant surgeries. I had to take a break from my studies, and recently I found out I couldn’t graduate because I was missing credits. At first, I felt overwhelmed and disappointed in myself. It took time to process the news, but I eventually decided to treat it as a chance to start fresh. I made a plan, researched new programs, and focused on what I could control. Now, I’m determined to move forward and make the most of this new opportunity.
I went from feeling ahead of everyone to feeling left behind. It was crushing. But these setbacks taught me something important: being “behind” is just a perspective. What matters is how you move forward.
What Helped Me Bounce Back
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Redefine Success: I stopped comparing myself to others. Success doesn’t have to mean being the youngest or the fastest; it’s about growing and learning at your own pace. Everyone has struggles, often more than we realize. In today’s world of social media, it’s easy to feel like everyone else is on a straight path to success, but real life is full of twists, turns, and setbacks.
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Stay Humble: Google taught me to see feedback as a gift rather than criticism. Every challenge is an opportunity to improve, not a sign of failure. It took me years after my internship to fully understand that I was working alongside brilliant engineers because I truly belonged there. It’s easy to feel like an impostor, believing everyone else is smarter or more capable. But remember this: “You are who you are with.” If you’re in the room, it’s because you’ve earned your place.
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Take Care of Yourself: Recovering from surgery taught me that health must always come first. It’s okay to rest, recharge, and ask for help when you need it. When you’re young, it’s easy to think you’re invincible or different from everyone else. But we thrive best when we lean on each other and work together. You don’t have to be uniquely special to make a difference—it’s the people and support around you that truly matter.
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Start Small: Big problems can feel overwhelming, but breaking them into smaller steps makes them manageable. Each small win builds momentum and helps you progress. These small victories create a chain: motivation leads to discipline, discipline turns into habits, and habits pave the way to success.
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Find Support: Whether it’s mentors, friends, or family, having people who believe in you can make all the difference. Surround yourself with people who challenge you, even those who doubt you. If you have the right mindset, their doubts can fuel your determination to go further and allow you to prove them wrong. Remember, only you can define your limits.
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Learn from Setbacks: Reflecting on what went wrong helped me plan my next steps. Mistakes are not something to fear—they are opportunities to grow. Admitting personal failure without making excuses is crucial. Failure fuels experience, and experience is what ultimately makes success possible.
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Keep Going: Even when progress feels slow, every step forward counts. Persistence pays off. Pain is always temporary.
Moving Forward
Setbacks are part of life, but they don’t define you. What defines you is how you respond. I’ve learned to embrace challenges as opportunities to grow. And if you’re going through something hard right now, remember: you’re not alone, and you’re stronger than you think.
The road to success isn’t always straight. Sometimes, you have to take a detour to find the right path. And who knows? That detour might just lead you somewhere amazing.
I wish all of you the best, and I’d love to hear more about your personal setbacks and journeys. Feel free to share your stories on our Discord server—you can join through the link on this site. I’m especially interested in how you’ve overcome challenges and found growth in unexpected ways.